“A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way.” – Unknown
When my sons were in their mid teens, quickly approaching manhood, I wrote them a letter, giving them, essentially, the same advice my father gave me. Now that my grandchildren are in or approaching their teenage years, I feel it is time to resurrect the same advice I gave my sons with a small addition or two.
My dear grandchildren,
Now that you are on the threshold of becoming adults, I feel it is time to explain our family’s general philosophy of life. Although the last three generations of Williams men have been in law enforcement, our prior history, like most of our countrymen, was that of the great American farmer. The Williams women have been mothers, housewives, nurses, teachers and secretaries. What this means is that ours is a legacy of honesty, hard work, a strong belief in God, ourselves, and our Country.
Like all good grandparents, your grandmother and I want nothing more for you than that you, our grandchildren, live happy, productive lives. I don’t profess to have all the answers to achieving that goal, but on my over three quarters of a century on this earth, I’ve learned enough from my own grandparents, my mom and dad, my wife, my sisters, my own life experiences, the observations of others and a study of history, to pass some hints that may make your road through life just a little less bumpy.
First, you have great parents who have taught you the difference between right and wrong. This is the foundation upon which your conscience is built. I believe that there is no quicker route to a happy life than a good, clean conscience. You can look yourself in the mirror every day with the awareness that you’ve never purposefully wronged anyone and have been fair in your dealings with others. This will also enhance your standing in any community in which you live.
Second, know that for every “right”, there is a corresponding “duty”. The “right to vote” is paired with the duty to study the issues and candidates. The “right to free speech” has the matching duty to speak the truth, out of knowledge, not ignorance. Your good fortune to live in this free country has the parallel duties to defend our country, (by force of arms, if necessary), to vote responsibly, and to perform other civic duties such as jury duty, volunteer fire fighting, Neighborhood Watch and other things that create a livable community.
Third, there is honor in hard work, therefore, work hard. To that end, it is best to choose a profession that you enjoy. If you enjoy your job, the vast majority of time, you will look forward to going to work. You will not look upon work as a drudgery, but a pleasure, and you’ll work harder. Your time at work will pass quickly. Conversely, if you hate your job, every day will start on a sour note. Your work day will seem to last forever. You will take small pleasure in a job well done and every little problem will appear to be a major obstacle.
Occasionally, you might be forced to take a tedious job, or to work for a boss or supervisor who is hateful, spiteful, lazy, moronic, bullying, dishonest, egotistical or any of these combinations. At such times, you should do your absolute best, despite the job or the boss, since you won’t do it because of them. Also, your honesty and integrity will remain intact and this can be of no small satisfaction. Another reason to work hard is that there are few things that bring more pleasure than owning something that you, yourself, have earned. Hard work also teaches you the value of a dollar, the satisfaction of a job well done, and the pride in knowing that you can accomplish almost anything, in this great country of ours, if you trust in God and work hard toward your goal.
Unfortunately, there will be times in your life when you may experience some mental fatigue or even depression. The cause may be because of illness, a personal tragedy, or some other condition over which you have no control. When this state of mind occurs, the best thing to do is to help others. Volunteer at a hospital or shelter or one of the many service organizations. The idea is to get the focus off of yourself and onto others.
One last piece of advice: treat everyone, regardless of their status, with respect. As the great boxer, Muhammad Ali once said, “I don’t trust anyone who’s nice to me, but rude to a waiter, because they would treat me the same if I were in that position”. Treating others the way one wants to be treated is the surest way to get the respect of others.
Because of the vagaries of life, I cannot give an unconditional guarantee that if you follow this advice, you will live a happy and productive life, but I can say unequivocally, that you will be much happier if you do, than if you do not. Your parents, your grandmother and I wish you all the best in what our Declaration of Independence calls the “pursuit of Happiness”.
Love,
Grandpa Buz.
