When you got married, you probably thought your marriage would last forever. On the biggest day of your life, you only picture happiness and contentment. But then reality sets in, and several things may happen over the years that push you and your spouse apart.
You have an important decision to make if you are currently at a crossroads, not knowing whether to separate from or divorce your spouse. You must decide which route is best based on your well-being and your children’s if you have any.
That said, sometimes divorce is the better option. Divorce and separation are different legal processes – if you choose divorce, you must prepare for what divorce proceedings entail.
Let’s look at the scenarios in which a divorce may benefit you most.
The Difference Between Divorce and Separation
A divorce is a legal process that ends a marriage. It dissolves the partnership between spouses, leaving both free to remarry at some point. In a divorce, you must decide how to divide property and other assets and also make legal arrangements for child custody and support.
Separation can be either formal or informal. A legal separation is a status a court assigns that allows a couple to remain married while living apart. During a separation, you will still have to define responsibilities. These include dividing finances and setting up child custody arrangements.
It is important to note that some states, including North Carolina, require a separation period before couples are allowed to divorce.
Why Divorce May Be the Better Choice
Some marital rifts cannot be overcome. If you and your spouse reach a point where you both agree you cannot reconcile, divorce is the better choice. Separation leaves the door open for a future reconciliation, which does not make sense if the relationship is completely over.
Plus, if your marriage suffered because of infidelity, a divorce gives you a chance at a clean break and to start fresh.
Financial Independence
When you get divorced, you sever your financial ties to your spouse. You may still be responsible for your spouse’s debt or other financial obligations when legally separated. Being divorced means you get your portion of assets and property and become financially independent.
Getting Remarried
This is an obvious reason for choosing divorce over separation. If you know that you would want to get married to another person in the future, getting divorced is the only option. Legal separation does not dissolve a marriage, so you would have to get a divorce before you can marry again.
Other Benefits of Getting Divorced
If your marriage is toxic or unhealthy, a divorce gives you a permanent escape. This means you can get away from mental and physical abuse and shield your children from it as well.
If the main reason you want to get out of your marriage is infidelity, a divorce allows you to recover from the hurt and anger. You will also have a chance to discover who you are without a spouse and what you want to do with your life as a newly single person.
Divorcing your spouse can also give your children a more peaceful environment.
Can Separation Be Better Than Divorce?
In most instances, divorce should be the first and only option. But there are exceptions to this. If divorce conflicts with your moral or religious beliefs, a trial separation may be what you need to rethink things.
You could choose separation over divorce if you want to retain access to health insurance and other financial benefits. This might also be a good choice if you or your spouse have a health condition that requires ongoing medical care.
If you are unsure whether you want to end your marriage, a separation can give you time to figure things out. Sometimes, a couple needs time apart to gain the necessary perspective. You and your spouse can decide whether reconciliation is possible during this time.
You could also try counseling or therapy during your separation to work through the problems that led to divorce becoming an option.
Making the Right Decision
Choosing between separation or divorce is a personal and emotional decision. You ultimately choose whether you will stay with your partner or leave them. Make the right decision for yourself and your children by evaluating whether your relationship is salvageable. Consider whether you can still see a future with your spouse.
If you cannot imagine your marriage being saved or staying with your spouse, it is time to contact a divorce attorney. The attorney will guide you through the divorce process according to your state’s laws and regulations.
Either way, the solution you choose should allow you to continue living happily and without strife.
