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Lipstick & Legos: Shopping and Carpet Stains
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12 November 2016   Holli Maurer

Lipstick and Legos – The Best Lessons I’ve Learned this Week

Fry’s Click List: This week I had a hard time adulting. On Saturday, Big was in the kitchen and said “what the heck is wrong with the refrigerator,” upon finding it holding peach beer, butter and some expired yogurt. I had Little at home on the usual grocery day and shopping with Little is a giant NO. Someone advised me to try the Fry’s Click List. Y’all: do it. Go to www.kroger.com and research this list. It uses your Fry’s VIP card to maintain a little “storage compartment” of all your usual items that you normally buy and it lets you make a virtual grocery list and add items to your virtual cart. Then, you just check out. You select a time/day you want to pick up all your groceries. I was extremely skeptical, but was under huge amounts of stress at work and figured I’d give it a whirl. The next day, Talia from Fry’s called to “see how my day was,” and to see if “anything had come up during the day that would cause my list to change.” Hmmm.

I considered adding copious amounts of vodka to said Click List, or even pondered if Fry’s could throw some Xanax into the cart from the pharmacy. Probably not. I added bleach instead, with lofty goals of bleaching my walls and floors while Big/Little were at their Dad’s house. I pulled up to Fry’s during my “pick up window.” Talia came right out, and gleefully added all my items into my car. I DIDN’T EVEN GET OUT OF THE CAR!!

I’d like to clarify something: I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. I stayed on the phone with my friend from Flagstaff, talking to him about my weekly column and laughing so hard I cried. If Fry’s Click List gave me an extra 23 minutes of time with my old bestie on the phone, the whole thing was worth it. While we chatted, Talia rang up all my coupons and also gave me $15.00 off my total bill for all my “trouble” that occurred when the store had run out of organic blackberries. (Hey, Talia: I probably never would have noticed. I guarantee there was no trouble.) I STRONGLY recommend using this service. I will never be seen inside the store again because it’s a time sucker, I have a four year old and the carts carry massive amounts of germs. Why doesn’t it gross more people out that there is a HEALTH clinic inside the store where our produce is and germs are flying around us for nearly two hours while we shop? Am I the only one bothered by this?

Rearranging boy’s furniture: Big disappeared to hang out with friends this week. I asked him if I could rearrange his room in my weird obsessive-compulsive-let’s-rearrange-every-room-every-other-weekend-just-for-a-fresh-start thing I have all the time. He refused. When he left, I asked one more time. When he finally agreed and I started moving things around, I lifted his bedside table to discover a massive red stain on our beige carpet. Big (in his words) honestly, "wasn’t that concerned about it because the furniture was able to hide it and no one would ever see it." I learned to move furniture and move it often. I also learned where the new Chihuahua urine remover had gone. I learned that urine remover does not clean red dye; quite the opposite effect took place and red stain grew bigger.

Solution? Just hire a steam cleaner. Shout out to Christian Brothers Carpet Cleaning who came promptly and got all red stain out.

Trick to learn? Put a damp towel down over stain, and iron the carpet with a hot iron and do your own steam, too. It works; and you’d save over $100.

Haircuts: Ladies, do not EVER give up hair appointments after you have booked them. Why? Because you will start hating your hair as the appointment gets closer and then one day (usually the day of your appointment that you gave away to your friend who had a MAJOR hair crisis) you wake up and realize your hair is a HOT MESS and your normal girl can’t get you in for over a week because YOU are too busy to make any of her available times, and then your confidence will be shattered all because you can’t get ANY volume in your hair. Truth.

Ex: sometimes your ex will call and need to talk. Every inch of your body will crawl, because you will assume the worst. Our world has conditioned us to assume everything is a horrible outcome. Sometimes, the Ex just reaches out because it’s YOU. They need you to be non-judgmental and be the person that they once knew. Be that person. Support them and just listen.

Friends in low places: your best buds will always be your best buds. There are times when I can go weeks without having a strong connection with my friends that I am emotionally the closest to. This week I re-connected with three of my best buds I’ve ever had in my life. They never went anywhere; nor did I. Just life happened and continues to happen all around me. Remember that they aren’t gone.

Public speaking: no. I just can’t do it if it has to do with my family. I will fold like a cheap tent if I see my father cry, and I will lose all the words that I prepared to say in a crowded room. I learned that when I failed to speak, my family was able to pick me back up and catch me when I fell. I remembered that my family oozes love. I remembered how grateful I have been to work with my father, to be so close to my mother, and to have my sister as my best friend; and I was reminded how dang precious my niece is.

Hard work: I learned this week that hard work always pays off. Just when I think that my efforts aren’t always recognized, I remembered that not all good things need recognition, and I remembered how valuable my team is to me. Much like my family, I was taught that they see me at my best, my worst and often times deal with me during my highest levels of stress; and they love me anyway.

Guys, I’ve had an extremely busy week. I’ve learned lots of life hacks with the Fry’s Click List and the steaming of Big’s secret stains; and I’ve learned that my friends, family and my work squad make my life so worthwhile. I guess at the end of weeks like this it’s the little things that I appreciate the most. I ran a million miles an hour this week. I could not ever do half the things I do if it weren’t for the hacks and the support system. Sometimes it’s nice to stop and say thanks…and be grateful for how great life really is; even when it’s sheer chaos.

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